I changed the Acceptable Use Policy on my workstation.. 👀

In the event that another person needs to use my workstation in my absence, I created an Acceptable Use Policy (AUP) - you know, that text before the logon that's just a boring lump of text without any formatting that no one ever reads - that our organization (and probably every other organization) should use.. it's just that comprehensive.

Welcome to the Acceptable Use Policy for this computer. Here are a few guidelines to ensure that your time on this machine is productive, efficient, and most importantly, entertaining.

1. Don't attempt to hack into the system. We've already hired some of the world's most notorious hackers to do that for us.
2. If you find yourself falling asleep at the computer, please make sure to drool on the keyboard. Our cleaning staff loves the extra work.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, feed the computer after midnight. We learned that lesson the hard way.
4. If you must download questionable content, please do so in the privacy of your own home. We don't want to be responsible for any awkward conversations with your significant other.
5. Please refrain from using profanity while using the computer. Unless, of course, you're playing an online game and getting repeatedly destroyed by a 12-year-old.
6. If the computer starts smoking or making strange noises, please remain calm and notify IT immediately. They love nothing more than a good fire drill.
7. Remember, this computer is not a toy. Unless, of course, you're really good at Minesweeper. Then go crazy.

Thank you for abiding by these guidelines. Now, go forth and conquer the digital world (or at least your inbox).